Party Tip Fit for a Queen

Seattle’s drag diva Dina Martina offers her advice for a glamorous and tasteful holiday extravaganza

Since 1989, Dina Martina has graced Seattle with her unique brand of wit and wisdom. Sporting her trademark red lipstick (only slightly beyond her lip line) and glittering (if a bit snug) outfits, she sings, dances and enlightens adoring fans. Every year, she performs the hilarious Dina Martina Christmas Show (11/28–12/31; Re-bar, 1114 Howell St.; 800.838.3006; brownpapertickets.com) to sold-out crowds. It’s no surprise that she’s also an entertaining expert, which is why we asked her to share a few tips on throwing an unforgettable holiday shindig.

How long have you been doing your show?
Oh, I know what you’re doing…you’re trying to figure out how old I am. Well, a real lady never reveals her age, so you can just forget it. I will tell you, though, I am slightly older than springtime, but younger than talkies.
 

Why do you think the audience responds so well?
Because during my performances, large amounts of quality emit from the stage....Also, because sometimes I give out dollars.

What holidays do you celebrate?
Christmas is my favorite because it’s so close to Jesus’ birthday, but I also love Sweeps Week. I celebrated Election Day a lot last month, because we haven’t had a president for such a long time.

What type of holiday party do you throw?
One with lots of food.

Such as?
Sauces and meatballs and Apple Jacks and cod and Lipton California Onion Dip. Then, to make room for dessert, we all put on bigger clothes.

Who do you invite?
I used to always invite Jesus, because people are always insisting he’s coming back and I thought he could probably do some pretty good card tricks, but I took him off the list because he never showed. He snoozes, he loses.

What type of libation do you serve?
I serve Absolut Slim-Fasts, because I like to have fun, but I also like to watch my ballpark figure. Some of my other favorite drinks are Hennessy & Squirt, Jack & Tab and Scotch martini with extra vermouth.

Which venues are best for parties?
Sometimes I’ll throw parties at Ye Olde Curiosity Shop on the waterfront, ’cause they have old-time candy and mummies. Speaking of mummies, two years ago I threw a Christmas party at the “Bodies” exhibit, which was neat ’cause I really did it up right and decorated to the nines. I dressed all the lady bodies up like Mary and the men bodies like Joseph and/or Santa and/or Wise Men.

What activities do you have your guests do?
I usually start them off with some basic cardio and eventually work up to the Chinese splits.