Spirit of the Sonics

During the endless battle to keep the Sonics in Seattle, we heard from the fans, the Seattle City Council, the NBA commissioner, Howard Schultz and (way too much) from Clay Bennett, but no one bothered to interview those who knew the Sonics best: the mascots. With the Thunder (née Sonics) unpacked in Tulsa, we thought we’d bring the team’s two furry cheerleaders—never before in the same room—together to chat courtside about the debacle. Please welcome Squatch, mascot from 1993 to 2008, and Wheedle, mascot from 1978 to 1985. B.D.

Squatch: [Grunts.] I don’t even know what you are, man.
Wheedle: I’m Wheedle!
S: Yeah, but what are you?
W: I’m kind of a bird/reindeer/bear thing! My nose blinks!
S:  No wonder they retired you in ’85.
W: Hey! My slapstick antics helped lead the team to an NBA championship in 1979, and although I’ve been encased in a block of plastic at the Sonics museum for untold stinkin’ years, I’m pretty sure you can’t say you ever did the same. So, in your face, Chewbacca-lite!
S: Well, I took ’em to the NBA finals in 1996.
W: Uh-huh. Gimme a C-H-O-K-E!
S: The Presidents of the United States of America wrote a song about me.
W: Just keep relivin’ those glory days as the unemployment checks roll in and your fur gets matted into the shape of your La-Z-Boy.
S: [Moans.] Aren’t we supposed to talk about the team?
W: Sure. How ’bout, why did the team encase me in a BLOCK OF PLASTIC for years? And currently my whereabouts are UNKNOWN?? I ask you, Sonics, where is the love?
S: Enough already. It’s not just about you! Anybody out there want to employ an enthusiastic hairy beast? I’ve got mad T-shirt-shooting skills.