Local Authority: Life Coach on Sleepless Nights

A local life coach says the best way to beat insomnia is to embrace it

Name & Occupation: Sondra Kornblatt, life coach and author of Restful Insomnia
Worst insomnia cure: “Someone suggested staring at the ceiling while forcing myself to keep my eyes open. It made me exhausted, but not sleepy.”
The problem with the conscious mind: “[It’s] wonderful, and we need it to manage life, but it’s a bit of a bully.”

Most of us take sleep for granted—until it abandons us to the cold, dark stretch between midnight and the alarm clock. Sondra Kornblatt, a Seattle-based life coach and writer, knows all about insomnia. During her struggles with sleeplessness, she tried a wide range of solutions, eventually developing her own approach centered on accepting insomnia: feeling it rather than fighting it. In her book Restful Insomnia (released this month), she shares the thinking that helped her overcome restless nights and offers techniques to help you make peace with your lack of shut-eye.

SM: What is your history with insomnia?
SK: I had chronic insomnia for about a year. The only cure I didn’t try was sleeping pills, because I’m sensitive to medication. No food or wine after 8 p.m., Sleepytime tea, calcium, melatonin, tryptophan, sleep hygiene (no napping, waking at 7 a.m., lights out at 11 p.m.). I tried a new pillow, exercise, warm baths. I tried doing everything I thought I needed to do, like washing dishes, answering e-mail.

SM: What was the turning point?
SK: It actually occurred during the day. I was stressed about how I was on the go all the time; I wanted some downtime for myself. I realized I did have time for myself, but it was at night. I started to use my night’s waking hours to talk gently to myself, to relax, to write....I learned how to rest, even when I couldn’t sleep.  

SM: How do you define “restful insomnia”?
SK: It’s a new way to look at the night. It teaches you how to create deep rest in order to mimic the benefits of sleep. When you’re thinking, “I have to sleep,” you are letting your conscious mind take over…[with] a bunch of errands and to-do lists. Restful insomnia is about quieting your conscious mind and allowing the unconscious mind to be in charge.

SM: What are your top three insomnia tips?
SK: Keep it dark at night, because that keeps melatonin pumping and also keeps the conscious mind from starting to see things you have to do. Continue to return to the body—to your breath, the feel of the sheets, listening to sounds. Even if you’re feeling tense, you can have a sense of how the tension feels in the body. Change the order you give yourself from “I have to sleep” to “I have to find ways to rest.”

SM: Are you ever unable to sleep these days?
SK: Occasionally, but even when I do have insomnia, it’s not a big deal. When I get insomnia now, from too much chocolate or stress, I can recognize it quickly, so I use the techniques and detach the urgency of the conscious mind.