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5 Cocktails to Help You Survive the Zombie Apocalypse
Five mixes that you’ll want to have on hand if your neighborhood is ever invaded by the undead. Or, if you decide to throw a Halloween party. Whichever comes first.
When the shambling masses see what that you’re drinking one of these, the graveyard metaphysics will blow what little brains they have left. This recipe’s from Dark Spirits and follows Don the Beachcomber’s classic path:
Fill a cocktail shaker halfway full with ice cubes. Add 1 ounce dark rum, 1 ounce white rum, 1 ounce gold or amber rum, 1/2 ounce apricot liqueur, 3/4 ounce freshly-squeezed lime juice, 1/2 ounce papaya juice (if you can’t get it, sub in passion fruit juice), 3/4 ounce unsweetened pineapple juice, and 1/2 ounce simple syrup. Shake well. Pour everything into a Zombie glass, large Collins glass, or other 14-ounce glass. Float 1/2 ounce 151 rum on top, and then garnish with a lime wheel, lemon wheel, cherry, and two mint sprigs. Lightly sprinkle powdered sugar over the drink.
When hordes of groaning zombies are closing in, you'll only have enough time to cock your weapon of choice and throw back a fast, spirited shot. I suggest you make it a Trigger, which will fortify you with just enough liquid courage—and remind you to have that weapon ready. This recipe’s out of bartender and zombie-killer Andrew Bohrer’s book The Best Shots You’ve Never Tried:
Muddle three cherries in a mixing glass. Pour 1-1/2 ounces bourbon (Woodinville Whiskey bourbon, perhaps) into the glass. Shake and fine strain into a shot glass.
This herbal number has a kick that’ll keep you sharp when you’re on the run. This recipe’s also from Dark Spirits (which has a lot of horrifically-tasty numbers):
Fill a cocktail shaker or mixing glass halfway full with ice cubes. Add 2 ounces Irish whiskey, 1 ounce sweet vermouth, and 1/4 ounce Benedictine. Stir well and strain into a cocktail glass. Squeeze an orange twist over the glass and drop it in the glass.
Find yourself escaping certain death by scrambling through city streets? I suggest angling toward the Rob Roy in Belltown. It’s dark enough inside to stay hidden, and owner Anu can be handy with a knife. Furthermore, the bar tends to have a big batch of Gunpowder Punch ready. Containing a house rum blend, gin, some citrus, demerara sugar, an array of old world spices, and real gunpowder, it’s one of the few mixed drinks that you can consume happily and use for defense.
Sometimes you have to fight spine-chilling evil with more evil. Drive the hordes of crumbling corpses in the opposite direction with the Warlock’s combination of brandy, Italian liqueurs Strega and limoncello, fresh orange juice, and Peychaud’s bitters. As this video demonstrates, it’ll turn you into a wicked magician with surprisingly effective powers:
Video courtesy AK Films. Brainstorm photo from Dark Spirits, Harvard Common Press, copyright 2009, Melissa Punch.