Child’s Play

Kids say the darnedest things, especially in situations they’re trying to make sense of, such as at the doctor’s office. With school back in swing, and cold and flu season approaching, we couldn’t resist asking pediatricians, “What are some of the funniest or most amazing things your kid patients have said to you?”

“[From a] kid diagnosed with chickenpox: ‘But I haven’t even been kissing the chickens!’” —Deborah Zaret, M.D., pediatrician, The Everett Clinic, Harbour Pointe, Mukilteo

“A 5-year-old with asthma told me, ‘I have a case of the wheezles.’” —Katherine Runyon, M.D., pediatrician, The Everett Clinic, Everett

“One patient recently said to his mom when he saw me, ‘I have a blond doctor!’ which was pretty funny because my hair is pure white.” —Jane Lester, M.D., pediatrician, The Everett Clinic, Everett

“Due to the electronic medical record, I now have to do a lot of typing in the office (and I am not a good typist!). One of my kid patients kept reminding me that my fingers weren’t ‘on the home row.’ I had to explain that I am a better doctor than a [typist]!” —Sherri Zorn, M.D., pediatrician, The Polyclinic

“A 6-year-old came back after we discussed concerns for unhealthy weight gain. Her weight status had improved a bit, and I asked her what she had done. She said, ‘I have not been drinking as much juice or sugary drinks.’ ‘Great,’ I said. ‘How were you able to do that?’ She replied, ‘Well, because juice makes you grow like this (gestured with her hands to show weight gain), but milk and water make you grow like this (gestured with her hands to show growing taller).’ I never demonstrated it quite like that before, but it sure made the point, and I have used it since with other kids!” —Mollie Grow, M.D., pediatrician (specializing in obesity prevention/intervention), Seattle Children’s Hospital