A few crumbling $20 bills. An airline boarding pass. A pink parachute. A black, clip-on necktie from J.C. Penney.

I’m pretty much slathering on sunscreen as I write this. I cannot wait to enjoy that 79 degree weather I keep hearing about, preferably as close to a large floating vessel or bevy of grilled hot dogs as possible.

Turns out Google Maps can’t, in fact, do everything.

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