Things to Know Before You Ride the Seattle Ferris Wheel

1. If there are only two people in your party, you will probably have to share a pod with strangers. Hopefully you will get paired with a nice, socially competent couple from Mukilteo (like I did). Otherwise, congratulations! You just paid to join a cruel social experiment: Seattle strangers trapped in a glass bubble and forced to make small talk. Don’t bother trying to escape, they lock the doors from the outside.

2. The air conditioning inside those pods is more powerful than any currently offered in Seattle. Bring a sweater.

3. After you’ve waited for all the pods to load with new passengers, the wheel will turn continuously a total of four times. Prepare yourself: you will hear the same fact repeated 1,000 times leading up to and during the ride. Ferris wheel riders are obsessed with turns per capita.

4. If you can’t see the Olympic Mountains, your view of Elliott Bay will feel sort of dull.

5. If you can’t see the twinkly lights of the night skyline, your view of the Olympic Mountains will feel sort of dull.

6. When you glimpse the rooftop terraces and deluxe balconies of Seattle’s affluent downtown residents, your entire life will feel dull.

7. Purchase tickets online in advance. Seriously. Otherwise, you will wait so much longer amidst the chaos of Seattle’s waterfront that, by the time you get to the “Great Wheel,” the prospect of locking yourself in a fish bowl with strangers will have you preferring to join the fishes in Elliott Bay.