Ruth Frobe & Nicki McCraw: Card Carriers

Local couples share their thoughts on the historic Referendum 74 vote, and on the nature of love.

If the trajectory of a romance can be charted through the books a couple reads, perhaps it is a good sign that Ruth Frobe and Nicki McCraw met while reading David Sheff’s harrowing memoir about his meth-addicted son, Beautiful Boy, and have since moved on to Tina Fey’s lighthearted Bossypants.

The two met early in 2011 at a book club hosted by a mutual friend. McCraw had seen Frobe’s profile on and thought she was cute. She noticed in the profile that Frobe was a triathlon athlete, so she asked her out on a date to discuss a suddenly burning urge, heretofore unacknowledged, to train for a triathlon. Frobe thought McCraw was “smart, funny and interesting.” McCraw thought Frobe was “generous, funny and more present than anyone had ever been with me.”

The Bainbridge Island couple became legal domestic partners early in 2012. “We’re card-carrying lesbians!” they shout in unison as they whip their domestic partnership cards out of their wallets. They plan to be married on August 17, 2013 on Bainbridge Island, and they have done what all serious couples do to prove their commitment: “We’ve put a deposit on a band,” says Frobe. While they haven’t finalized the plans, they will invite approximately 150 people to what they envision as a traditional wedding.

“I want to get married because I want my family and friends to be able to hold us accountable,” says Frobe. “It’s about our relationship being respected and acknowledged.” “Marriage is a contract that the state recognizes,” says McCraw. “Separate but equal is never equal.”