Oh, WSDOT, you almost had me thinking you cared about my gut-gnawing, borderline obsessive worrying about the impending "Viaduct-pocolypse." Then today, in a WSDOT press release, comes this little masterpiece of understatement, from someone who might know better:
“We know the closure is an inconvenience for drivers, but the demolition work is a vital step in building a safer SR 99 through Seattle,” said state Transportation Secretary Paula Hammond.
Scoff if you must, but for those of us who work in the shadow of the Viaduct—the southern mile, no less—the prospect of 100,000 extra cars a day being diverted to our front door has many of us examining our commitment to maintaining a physical office presence.
Sure, we're perusing Metro's new, beefed-up bus service, which is a neat response to the problem (oh, ehem, "inconvenience."). There are also copious alternate routes being suggested, by the DOT (study those maps if you dare), by local media (sorry, KING 5's Tracy Taylor; I won't be going near Nickerson) and by co-workers. But at the end of the day, only four things will really help you:
1. Stay home. The "traffic abstinence" option, guaranteed to work.
2. Stay patient. The Viaduct can't hurt you if you don't let it!
3. Stay pessimistic. Tell everyone you are going to take an hour to get anywhere, then, choose a route and pack up some snacks. Find a back-up plan for picking up children and/or walking dogs.
4. Remember: There is always someone who has it rougher than you. You could live in West Seattle and work in SoDo. (Hello, Chris!)
Tomorrow's topic: If a Viaduct falls in SoDo and nobody's there to hear it, does it make a noise?